let's have a joke thread. :D
This woman walks into a drugstore, approaches the guy at the counter and asks: "Do you have cotton balls?"
The guy looks at her and says: "What do I look like, a teddy bear?"
What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaaaaaaains...
Two fish are in a tank, one says "I'll drive, you man the turret!"

i have some good jokes thou they may be too crude for this forum lol

Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.

Three fish went fishing, one of them drowned! Har har har.
Ok, another one...
Whats the difference between a wounded Tyrannosaurus Rex and wizard casting the Fly spell? -The other one is a dying lizard and the other one a flying wizard! Har har.
And last but not least...
The Phantom (The superhero) walks up to a hotdog stand and orders a hotdog.
-The seller asks "With all spices?"
-The Phantom responds "No"
I always ROFL when I hear that one. :P

It is a little known fact that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Sadly, the records were destroyed in a fire so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.

I don't get the last one.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. He soon hears someone say; "hey, nice shirt." The man looks around but there is no one there. He continues to drink and hears someone say; "hey, nice tie." Again, no one is around. The man calls across the room to the bartender; "are you talking to me?" The bartender replies; "no, that's the complementary nuts."

When Micheal Jackson died, his body was melted back into plastic and made into Legos. Now, kids can play with him.

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarr, it's driving me nuts!"

You know what would be ironic...?
... if the world were made out of iron...
NOW THAT'S PUNNY!

Guy walks into a restaurant and looks at the menu, which says, "Cheese sandwich $3.50, Chicken sandwich $4.50, Handjob $5." He looks in his wallet and says to the waitress, "Are you the one who does the handjob?" Seductively, she goes,"Yes, I am." He says, "Well, wash your friggin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
I pretty much saw that in Esquire and I was like, HOLY FUCK.

I've only got one....
So Rene Descartes is at a party and a fellow is walking around with cocktail weenies. The fellow walks up to Descartes and asks him, "would you like a cocktail weenie?" Descartes responds, "I think not!" and he vanishes.

God, I love that show. Caboose is always a riot.

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."
"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Masochist to the sadist "hurt me"
Sadist to the masochist "no"