What kind of bees give milk?
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.
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.
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Boobees

But at least laughter and joy could be heard in playgrounds across the nation now.

Why did the kangaroo die? Got hit by the falling tree.
Why did the tree fall over? The last monkey forgot to let go.

A blonde's husband convinces her to go apply for a position at the police office.
So she goes and gets an interview.
During the interview the interviewer asks her, "Who was our first president?"
She replies, "I don't know."
The interviewer says, "Ok..." and asks her, "Who is the governor of our state?"
She replies, "I don't know."
The interviewer asks in desperation, "Who shot Abraham Lincoln?"
The blonde replies, "I don't know"
The interviewer says, "Ok, go home and find out who killed Abaham Lincoln, and don't come back until you know the answer."
The blonde comes home and her husband says, "How did the interview go?"
She answers, "Great! I got a detective position and my first case!"

A newlywed Jew from Peru
Was vainly attempting to screw.
His wife said "Oy Vey,
If you keep up this way
The Messiah will come before you!"
There was a young man from Kent
Who's tool was so horribly bent
That to save himself trouble
He folded it double
And instead of coming, he went.
There was a young maid from Aberystwyth,
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Threw her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.
There once was a lady named Alice
Who used dynamite as a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.
There once was a man from Bombay.
He fashioned a cunt out of clay.
The heat from his dick turned the clay into brick.
And wore all his foreskin away.
There was a young whore pulling tricks
Who at one time could handle five pricks
She said with a cry
As she pulled out her glass eye,
"Tell the boys I now can take six!"
There once was a man named McGruder.
He was in love with a girl so he wooed her.
The girl thought it rude to be wooed in the nude.
but McGruder was shrewder and screwed her.

Oh, so we're onto the limericks now? I have one that is rather similar:
There was an old maid from Peru
Who swore that she never would screw
Except under stress
Or forceful duress
Like "I'm ready dear, how about you?"

Great thread! Lots of lol's...
One day Milroy the Magnificient, World Famous Hypnotist comes into town. Everyone is excited, the hall's completely booked out weeks prior.
The night of the event comes. The hall is full to capacity and then some. The curtains open... Milroy walks onto stage with a flourish. Standing in the center of the stage, he announces, 'Audience! As you may have seen, many other hypnotists pick a couple of randoms from the audience and does their work on them. Amateurs! I shall attempt something far beyond that. I shall hypnotise all of you!'
Everyone oohs and aahs in awe and leans forward eagerly.
Milroy then proceeds to pull out his prized, old stopwatch clock on a chain, puts it forward and starts swinging it.... The chain slips and it falls to the floor and breaks. "Oh shit!"
It took three days to clean the hall.
*evil laugh* My current favorite.

WIN.

what's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my dick in your mouth.

A young man, divinely endowed
Once said very haughty and proud
When a girl much too free
Placed her hand on his knee
"That isn't my knee, Miss McCloud"
There once was a girl from Decatur
Who went out to sea on a freighter
She got screwed by the master
An utter disaster
But the crew all made up for it later

A corny joke
Two corns are talking.
-Man, Susan is so hot.
-Yeah. I wanna pop her so much.

-What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
-A cat has its claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

hey. that's a good one

I've just read this :-).
Building Security has notified us that there have been 5 suspected terrorists working at our office.
Four of the five have been apprehended. Bin Sleeping, Bin Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing have been taken into custody. Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the fifth cell member, Bin Working, in the office.
Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Working will be very easy to spot. They thought they had apprehended Bin Working sitting at a desk, but it was actually Bin Surfing trying to impersonate Bin Working.

Keeping the joke thread alive!
-A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think
I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."
-A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk
remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the
leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of
constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo
looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like
these, who needs enemas?"