Somewhere in Hawaii there is a village missing its idiot

What kind of flowers are on your face?

Tulips.

I don't get it.

Good joke if you live in Ohio, USA:

Where is the best place to get engaged in Ohio?
Somewhere between Dayton and Marion.

Obama

that one made me lol :v

Where did the three legged horse live?

In the unstable.

I like my women how i like my Ski's

Rented and with wax on the bottom.

I had a dream last night that I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone.

thats so bad its funny

"Mommy," said the little girl, "I've decided not to study anymore."
"How comes?"
"I saw in a film yesterday that someone was killed because he knew too much!"

And one similar to ChaunceyK's joke...

"Doctor, doctor, help me! Last night, I dreamed I was a horse and ate a whole bale of hay!"
"Don't worry, it was all just a dream, it has nothing to do with reality."
"Really? Then tell me, where is my mattress?"

What do you get when you breed a dachshund and a poodle?





A Q-tip.

I can't take full credit for it....I stole it from an episode of the 80's sitcom "Webster."

The best answer for the stock interview question "Where do you see yourself in five years' time?" is... "In the mirror, as always."

Did you hear the one about the midget psychic fugitive? Apparently, he's a small medium at large.