"What's so great about Switzerland, anyway?"

I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.

A Buddhist Monk enters a Pizza shop:

Baker: What will it be?

Monk: Can you please make me one with everything?

Baker: We only have what you see on the menu.

Monk: This is a very limited menu?

Baker: I am sorry you feel that way.

Monk: You should strive to make customers one with everything.

Baker: It's too expensive and customers are very picky.

Monk: I know how to make customers one with everything.

Baker: Then please enlighten me.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

There are two muffins in an oven.

The first muffin turns to the second and screams "AAAAAAAH!!! We're going to die! We're in an oven!"

The second muffin looks at the first and says "Damn, a talking muffin."

not a joke but your joke reminds me of this pic, which someone in here gave me.

I went to a yoga class. It was a stretch.

(This statement is actually true; I actually did go to a yoga class, and it was a stretch for me.)

Did you hear about that man, who lost his entire left side in an accident? He's allright now.

The pessimist sees only the darkness.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist sees the train.
And the engine driver sees three idiots on the tracks.

My girlfriend recently broke up with me for talking about video games too much.
What a silly thing to Fallout 4

I submitted 10 puns to a pun contest hoping at least one would win
But no pun in ten did

There are two types of people in this world: Those who know what off-by-one errors are.

I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

Reminds me of: There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two - one to change the bulb and a second one to hold the penis. I mean ladder! Yes, hold the ladder!

think I told this one

-What is the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when he hits your windshield?

-His ass.

What do you call a camel with three humps?

Humphrey!