Thought I posted previously the version I heard, but I can't find it. Here goes:

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

With swine flu you get oinkment. For bird flu they give you tweetment.

Here's one I saw on twitter, though it may have actually been serious (basic Japanese required):

A: Please translate this character: の

B: No.

A: Please, I really need this translated.

Just seen this in the comments section on a Youtube review video.

Why did the Console player cross the road?







To render the other side

As an atheist, I do not believe in sin. I do, however, believe in cos and tan.

My math teacher took some graph paper, went into his office, and closed the door. I think he's plotting something.

What do you call a bull sleeping?

Bulldozer.

Singerine over cosgerine is delish.

Boy Calculator: What's for dessert mom?

Mother Calculator: π

that was hilarious !

Here's one for the triggered PC crowd:

What do you call an aboriginal in a suit?

The defendant.

Some time today,Australia lost the plot.

Here's one that I didn't get at first (it works better spoken):

M: Bye!
N: I'm gay.

(M and N are two people speaking with each other.)

Baby polar bear goes up to his mother and ask her, "Mother, am I real polar bear?"

Mother says,"Of course you are son. What an odd question. Why would you ask that?"

Baby says, "Don't worry mom. I just needed to make sure."

A few days later the baby polar bear goes to his father and ask, "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad exclaims, "Don't be stupid! Of course you're a real polar bear! Jeeze, son, you and your strange questions!"

A few days later the whole family is sitting at the table having dinner when the baby speaks up, "Mom, dad, I know I already asked, but I need to be sure. Are both of you absolutely sure I'm a real polar bear? Are you totally totally positive?"

The mother and father both aghast shout at him, "Of course you're a real polar bear! Why on earth would you think you weren't a real polar bear!?"

And the baby says, "Because I'm fucking freezing."

Annoying Child to the woodchuck:
"How much wood could a woodchuck-chuck-if-a-woodchuck-could-chuck-wood?"

Irritated Woodchuck to the child:
"As much wood as a woodchuck-could-if-you could shut-up-and-let me finish chuckin' my wood!"

M: Transsexual!

N: Operation.