5. They like a lot of RAM.

6. You can masturbate with them.

7. You can use them for entertainment.

8. They cost a lot of money.

9. They age and become outdated quickly and nobody else wants them.

10. They have slots and ports everywhere.

The wife hit me up with this one:

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?

It was feeling crummy.

Mmmmm.

Here's one:

Yeast infection?

The Elder Scrolls: Arena is a well-made game; it certainly *doesn't* have any glitches.

This alternative fact has been approved by Jagar Tharn.

(Note: Attached images are actual screenshots from this bug-free game.)

Edit: P. S. Ria Silmane is a nasty woman. -Jagar Tharn.

On the French thread (I am of French heritage and mean no offense):

I have a French rifle for sale. Only been thrown down once.



And a few of my favorite blond jokes:

How do you kill one? Give her spikey shoulder pads.
How do you drown her? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Once a blond trophy wife called her husband to ask if she could paint the porch. He thought it would be good for her, even if the porch didn't look great when she was done. She really had to do something with her time.

So he said yes. She asked if red was okay. He said yes.

When he got home, her smile was from ear to ear. She was real proud of herself. But the porch didn't have an ounce of paint on it.

"Change your mind?"

"Oh no. I painted it. Want to see?"

"I can see it right here." He patted her head like the dimwit she was.

She was genuinely impressed and a bit confused when she responded "You can see into the garage from here?!"

I've just got back from the supermarket.
Would you believe that there was a guy there throwing cheese at me! How mature is that?
When I confronted him, he started throwing milk and yoghurt... How dare he! (dairy? Geddit?)

Exit stage left.

(It is possible I have posted this before, but it is also possible that I haven't.)

Here is one of my favorite feminist jokes:

A woman's place is in the House...


... and in the Senate.


(For anyone who doesn't understand this joke, the US Government's Legislative Branch consists of the House of Representatives and the Senate.)

Couldn't agree more ^^^

The menfolk need sammiches. And dessert.

For Sale: Adorable puppies, half pedigree, half neighbours sneaky dog!

What disease do you get from Christmas decorations?

Tinselitus.

What did the one corn say to the other?

I'm all ears.

What do you call an overweight Arab who smells?

Fati Bin Pharteen.

What do you call fake spaghetti?

Impasta.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got there.