Why do they call camels ships of the desert?

Because they're full of Libyan semen.

--

Why are Libyans so shitty at soccer?

Because every time they get a corner they put a bazaar on it.

In Norway, so called "Every children... except" jokes are popular as they're not only corny, but also they often rhymes... so we might have a case of "lost in translation" here :D

Every children was playing in the street, except Rolf, for he were stuck inside the grill of a Golf.

Every children liked girls, except Einar... he liked Steinar.

Every children came fast out of the bloody pool, except Maja... she were eaten by a piraya.

Every children liked Saddam Hussein, except Lars and Ester... they were his guests (gjester).

All the children were shot in the computer game, except my farmor, she bought armor. (farmor = dads mother)

NURSE NURSE I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS

nurse: I know Sir we amputated your arms

I made that joke up in 1982

and it was on TV :P


I have tons of jokes and sketches I made up, but I don't say them in public anymore, too many thief's about.

All the best

Why do French People eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food.

-

What do women snipers in the French military use as camouflage?

Their armpits.

Two goldfish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, "So how do we drive this thing?"

One day in class Little Johnny raised his hand.

Teacher: What do you want Little Johnny?
Little Johnny: May I go use the restroom?
Teacher: Right after you recite the alphabet?
Little Johnny: But I have to go really bad.
Teacher: Please recite the alphabet first.
Little Johnny: Oh, ok a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y, and z.
Teacher: Where's the "p"?
Little Johnny: Running down my leg, I told you I had to go really bad!

And taking off from mm324's joke.

One day Little Johnny gets home from school yelling, "Mom! Mom! Come here, the greatest thing happened in school today!"

His mother runs into the room, "Calm down son, what is it?

"Mom! Mom! You'll never believe it! In school today the best thing happened!"

"I heard you son, now calm down and tell me, what happened in school today?"

"Mom! Mom! In school today the teacher asked the WHOLE class a question and Mom! Mom! I was the only one in the WHOLE class who knew that answer!"

"That's great son! What was the question?"

"Who farted?"

LOL, seriously I almost dropped my laptop.

Now THAT'S a powerful fart.

That's what a good bowl of bean soup will do. :P

Define "good".

Let's not derail this thread, it's one of the few where noone's arguing.
*facepalm* now I jinxed it

A man and his wife are talking to each other. The man says "Whenever we have an argument, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper?"
"I just clean the toilet," his wife responds.
"How does that help?" the man asks.
"I use your toothbrush," she replies.

Good one, and it keeps the thread on track.

You want to keep this thing on the rails?
Well, that's kind of a loco motive.