Go up to a girl and ask if she is pregnant. (make sure she isn't)
When she says "No" ask her if she wants to be, as you have this power. :)
(warning may lead to awkward situations, especially if you ask a guy instead)

how do you make a aboridginal girl pregnant?
cum on her leg and let the fly do the rest!

Another one from M&M 6...
-Why are there only 20 hours in a Goblin day?
-Because they only have 10 fingers+10 toes!

Bump for greater justice... or whatever!
-I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
-A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

Dracula was on a night out with his buddies and after much intoxication decided to call it a night. On his walk home he took a few back streets to shortcut. Upon walking down one such dark alley he was hit in the back of the head by a sausage roll but after looking around could not see whom the culprit was. Once again, in the next dimly lit passage he felt a chicken wrap splat across his back, thrown from behind, but again the perpetrator had hidden.
Finally as Dracula got to his castle gates, he felt a tap on the shoulder... he turned round to a dark figure wielding a sausage on a cocktail stick. No sooner had Dracula spoken than the dark figure plunged the stick into his heart.
Falling to the floor, Dracula uttered his last words... "Who are you?"... To which the dark stranger announced....
"I am Buffet the Vampire Slayer"!

Why can't you tell Kurt Cobain a secret?
Because he's always shooting his mouth off!

^Aww, that's evil... but still good! :-)
Anyway...
Two doctors speak about drug prevention.
-Yesterday, I prevented 20 youngsters from bevcoming drug addicts, - boasts one of them.
-Good, - says the other, - and how did you do that?
-I drew two circles, a small one and a large one. Then, I said, "You see, your brain is this large before you start using drugs, and becomes this small when you're addicted to it".
-Ah, I see. However, recently I managed to prevent 100 youngsters from becoming drug addicts.
-Fantastic! What did you do?
-I also drew two circles, a small and a large one, but I said, pointing to the small circle, "This is your butt before you go to jail..."

Bad biology pun here:
"Did you know that arthropods have hard outer shells?"
"You've got to be chitin me!"

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two -- but how did they get in there?

haha

Wife comes home, slapping her husband in the face.
"For forty years bad sex".
Husband slaps her back.
"What was that for?" she asks.
"For knowing the difference".

Who builds ships in bottles?
Retired gynecologists...
What can you take off a naked secretary?
Her boss.

What do vegetarian zombies eat?
GRAINS! GRAINS!

What's the difference between a fridge and a gay guy?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull out the meat!
(My apologies to any gay users who were offended by this)

A middle-aged woman boards an airplane for the very first time in her life. After some time, she manages to find an empty seat next to a window, so she settles down there.
A bit later, a guy comes up, and says, "Lady, please find an other seat for yourself."
-Why? - she asks. -I've found this seat, thus I can sit here!
-Lady, this is my seat, so please let me sit here.
-Well, it is not indicated anywhere you've reserved this seat for yourself, so you'll just have to find yourself an other one now.
-Very well, ma'am, but can you fly this airplane?