Lord of the Rings based pun:

What did the elves say when the orcs were breaking down the gate?

We need Mordor...

And what did the orcs say when they finished breaking down the gate?

Now it's Gondor...

XD

why do women have periods? cuz ignorance is paid with BLOOD (jfc)

https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-517c50a4b78260cb8bcfb98f16c0921f-c?convert_to_webp=true

Necro is in fashion:)

Why corny jokes in here? I don't have some corn with me now!

What did Rambo say to the condom? Cover me I'm going in.

This is corny:

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

What did the condom say to the other condom outside the gay bar?

Want to get shitfaced?

I know this one, is it stuck up arseholes?

What do you call a Deer with no eyes, no legs & no genitals.

Still no fucking eye-Deer.

I just made this one up:

What did one corn say to the other corn?

I'm all ears.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a pirate, with a ship's wheel sticking out of his pants, standing at the bar. The guy orders a beer and slowiy drinks it. By the time he finishes it he can't control his curiosity, so he walks over to the pirate.

Guy: "What's the deal with the ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
Pirate: "ARrrrr, it drivin' me nuts."

XD We seriously need to get this thread up and going again.

And yes, I will be using that joke in the future. XD

I agree unfortunately most of the jokes I know would fall into the disgusting/ politically incorrect catagories, certainly not appropriate for this thread.

I'm glad you liked the joke, one of my uncles told it to me thirty or so years ago.

Temel & Dursun jokes are famous in Turkey. I'll share one:

Temel is a watchmaker. One day, his friend Dursun comes to him with a watch that has stopped working. Temel shakes it, puts it to his ear, turns the knob and stares at it for a while. Then, he opens it up and finds inside a dead ant. “Uyy, Dursun!” he exclaims, “Of course your watch has stopped. Can’t you see, the machinist is dead!”

Another one:

One day Temel, the truck driver, while driving down a hill realizes that his brakes are not working. The truck is going faster and faster, until he reaches an intersection. Temel looks around. On his right, there is a child; on his left, there is a bazaar with more than 100 people. As a “clever” man, Temel chooses to drive towards the child instead of the bazaar. However, the next day, newspaper headlines read “TEMEL DROVE HIS TRUCK INTO THE BAZAAR, 40 KILLED, 35 INJURED”. They ask Temel: “How come you commit such an act?” Temel answers: “Everything happened when the child started to run towards the bazaar”.